lois journal
by hermie's quill
Summary: told afer the events of Superman Returns.
1. Chapter 1

**Lois journal**

**Entry 15**

**I've been writing in this stupid journal for two weeks now! **

**I knew it was a bad idea from the moment Lucy gave it me. **

**I wish I never listened to Doctor Stain's advice.**

"**It'll be good for you Lois, to write your feelings down!" Ha what a joke!**

"**It will help you" she said. **

**Personally I knew at the time that was bull!**

**All this stupid journal has done is cause more problems!**

**Write my feelings down! That's what I did and look where that got me! My head's a train wreak and aren't journals supposed to be private!?**

**At first I thought- what can be hard about writing in a journal. I mean it's not like I'm trying to win a Pulitzer!**

**I was cagey at first but soon got into the swing of things. Letting everything pour out and it felt good. I never thought Richard would guess the password. ….Shit!**

**Superman! I should change that.**

**The ironic thing is at least I can tell Doctor Stain that I've worked out the cause of my problems! **

**No doubt Doctor Stain would say that was the whole point of the session.**

"**We're making progress Miss Lane!"**

**And I'd say " thanks to your hippy trippy idea's my family been smashed!"**

**Then she'd say "but I never told you to write I love Superman."**

**Ahh that's it I'm cancelling these sessions and I'm signing off.**

**You can forget this journal I'm never writing in it again.**

**No doubt she'd smile and say "that's your choice Lois,**

**I'll pen you in for next week."**

**I'm signing off and I'm never writing anything again!**

**Twenty minutes later.**

**I can't help it, I'm alone and I need someone to talk to.**

**Richard has gone and we've split up!**

**Everything's a mess, I just don't know where to begin.**

**Richard and Me had this massive argument after he spotted superman flying out of Jason's window.**

**I had been meaning to tell him but I could never find the right moment. **

**Now it's too late, God I feel like such a bitch.**

**The thing is he had already read my journal guessed the password!**

**Richard got suspicious, I'm glad I never wrote down who Jason's real dad was.**

**That's why Journals are a very bad idea. Thanks to Lucy and Doctor Stain I'm going to have to explain where daddy has gone!**

**How about taking some reasonability, Lois. **

**He'd been working late at the planet but finished earlier then I expected.**

**I heard his car pull up in the drive and heard Jason's shout "Goodnight Superman".**

**That was when he saw Superman leave.**

**He stormed into the bedroom. I knew by the look of total disgust written across his face that he'd seen him.**

**He kept shouting at me, asking me how long I'd been having an affair with Superman! I've read your journal Lois and I know you still love him.**

**Shit! How dare he! I'd never have an affair.**

**I was so mad that after five years, he that he's think I'd be capable of that!**

**Ok I know I should have come clean sooner. But how do you go about something like that?**

**Anyway where was I?**

**Then he started packing his bags, I pleaded with him to listen to me. To give me a chance to explain. I tried to tell him it didn't look the way it looked.**

**He wouldn't even look at me and what I should have told him months ago slipped out.**

**Jason I sobbed "I'm sorry I was going to tell you he's Superman's. That's why he was here. Please believe me Richard, I would never cheat on you."**

**He sat down broken on the bed putting his head in his hands.**

"**How long Lois" he shouted, "how long has these secret meeting been between him and my son been going on."**

"**Two months" I sobbed. He looked totally crushed. Then he looked up at me and said "Lois I accepted from the start he wasn't mine but I've treated him like he was mine. A moral man I can compete with. A superhero, the odds are always against me and you couldn't even tell me the truth."**

**He moved out of the bedroom without even looking at me. I tried to keep up with him "Richard" I cried. Then I heard the front door slam behind him. His car speed away and I ran out side. It was too late he'd gone.**

**I don't know how long I must have been outside crying. It seemed like hours but it was only five minutes. Then the heavens opened and I was soaked. It's funny as I write this down. it feels like a weight has been lifted.**

**I'm going to go to bed now check on Jason and try to deal with the aftermath tomorrow.**


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, stupid journal that ruined my life. Sorry I've neglected you but I've been busy!

Things are bad, I'm talking to my journal and I worry about my mental state.

I saw Doctor Stain and this is me being grilled with psychobabble.

**Me** "I want to cancel our sessions"

**Doctor Stain "**Why is that Lois?"

**Me** " it's a complete waste of time and money!"

**Doctor Stain** " Lois you say that every week.

Is there something you want to talk about?"

**Me** "Well yes, well no, nope there's nothing I can think off…."

**Doctor Stain** "Well that's good, that wraps it up nicely.

I'll see you next week then."

**Me** "No, wait there's something. …I want to talk about Richard."

**Doctor Stain** "What about him Lois?"

**Me** "I took your advice about the journal and he read it!

Saw Superman fly out of my window and now he's left. I mean Jason's window, not my window."

**Doctor Stain** "Freudian slip Lois."

Doctor Stain's conclusion is that subconsciously I want Superman to fly into my bedroom window!

I don't want a man that has caused me trouble.

I'm not in love with a man with deep blue eyes and gave me my beautiful son?

His eyes…I could fall into them. No stop! I'm not getting into this.

Really it was Richard i wanted to leave, If that makes sense! Superman can't be a full time dad to Jason.

Doctor Stain said something useful, so it wasn't a complete waste of time and money. The only reason I'm upset is that Jason has lost his dad. Of course I'm upset. She pointed out that I should be upset that Richard has left me. That my love for Richard and Superman isn't enough. That I need to figure out what I want and who I want.

_My ad for the daily Planet's lonely hearts column, _

_I'm joking! The opposite sex, way too much trouble!_

**Lois lane fearless reporter seeks a man that's good with kids and can cook. **

**Has to work at the daily Planet and has to be Superman.**

_Shock horror Lois, no replies apart from a few weirdo's._

Perry knows something…..

Today's staff meeting, Richards gone to London to work on a story.

Funny really, my boss knows more about the where about's of my ex husband to be then I do.

Next my boss will tell me why Superman couldn't say goodbye.

I've got this lead on Luther, but Perry wanted to see me into his office.

He lowered his voice, now I know it's trouble and he whispered "Lois, Richard told me."

I'm hoping not everything.

"He came to my office two days ago, he's cut up. I've give him some time off, I won't breathe a word."

"Thank you" Perry I stammered.

I'm leaving but Perry wasn't finished.

"Lois it's a year since you had a holiday. Your having next week off."

"But chief! The Luther story." I babbled on but he cut in front of me.

"Don't argue with me! It's not up for discussion, Kent can do it."

Back at my desk, i tried to finish my story. I'm not handing it to Clark, but I can't pressing it with Perry. Thankfully it isn't office news yet.

Clark's been sweet bringing me lunch, I haven't been eating and I've started smoking again.

I picking Jason up from school, I'm late and he asks where daddy is. My hearts going to break when I tell him. Can't conceal the truth forever, that's what got me in this mess.

Superman hasn't stopped his visits and I'm calling it a night.


End file.
